April 29, 2016 Relationship Mindfulness: Partnering with Men in the Workplace
By Novalena J. Betancourt, Author of The Total Female Package
Our entire world thrives off relationships! In the world of productivity and exploration in pursuing one’s dream you need a team for most worthy ideas to take fruition. It’s a common law. WHERE you plant your seeds and WHO is supporting them to grow is PRICELESS. From the likes of Tony Robbins to Arianna Huffington to the good ole’ principles of Napoleon Hill, you will find having a mastermind of brilliant individuals supporting your vision is a sure fire way to determine your success. And if you really want to take your success to the next level you will want to curate those relationships and better yet really know who you are bringing into your intimate circle to achieve your desired results.
For over a decade now, I have worked and created with a handful of the most brilliant men on this planet from Silicon Valley CEO’s to Internet, Network and Info Marketing Multi-millionaires. And I can tell you that understanding men in the workplace and how to effectively partner with them is an invaluable relationship muscle you must build to achieve the kind of success you know in your heart you are capable of executing. I have witnessed so many women, including myself, take so many unnecessary moments personal in the work environment and I started to see how it was depriving these worthy ideas of growing and yes I have many of my own stories around this topic to share!
Imagine creating a world for yourself where the men in your life become your power partners and they are fired up about supporting you achieve your goals! From your father to business partner to team member to brother to significant other, imagine if when you spoke to each man in your life he knew exactly how to support you and felt amazing because you could communicate with him in a way that told him exactly what his support would do for you. It is absolutely possible and I am here because, Chad Mureta, is one of those friends in my world. He has been supporting me with business strategy and relationship introductions to get my dream of providing every woman on the planet with the knowing she in her essence already is The Total Female Package.
I have customized a team of power partners around my vision for my life; personal and business, and today I am so happy to share with you the 10 ways to begin the foundation of what could prove to be how you curate power partners in your business world to help you achieve your biggest dream possible:
1. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus
It is no joke that men and women are completely different. Take a few courses and understand just how programmed those differences are in your DNA and explore conversations with your guy on techniques to be in alignment when the gender differences create conflict between the two of you. A little bit of learning and growth is always a welcome gesture for power partners.
2. Ask what a man THINKS about something vs. how he FEELS
When you really want to get to know your potential power partner asking a man how he feels does not land well on the DNA programming of a Hunter! Make sure you always ask a man what he THINKS about a topic and allow him to share with little to no interruptions and you will find that his opinions and values are expressed and in turn you find out how we feels about a subject regardless ☺
3. Let the ‘Express’ keep riding down the tracks and you will learn so much more
Women have a knack of flowing in and out of multiple subjects at multiple times in one conversation. Men don’t have the same make up as women and can’t easily flow that way so when you get the chance for a man to share his thoughts I encourage you to listen and even when you have that voice in your head who wants to add additional input just hold it in. Even when there is a pause in the conversation, still hold in what you want to share and let the man allow himself to continue to share his thoughts. I would even ask you to count up to 5 seconds before you add a single thought to his conversation and then say “Are you complete with that thought?” WOW! Does this make a man feel safe and that he can trust you even more that he may have given you credit for because you allow him to share his complete thought. This one is huge!
4. Listen with empathetic ears
Most times when a man is speaking we are already thinking about our response and can’t say with full authenticity we really understood what he was sharing. Next time when you are with a man you want to develop a power partnership with allow him to speak and listen for understanding before you respond. This helps take out all of the guesswork and any indirect miscommunications that may arise.
5. Interrupt with respect
There may be those times when you need an answer and a man is focused on a task. He will feel honored and respected if instead of automatically asking the question you need answered you simply ask him “May I interrupt you in this moment?” That then gives him the choice to say yes or no. If he says yes he will be entirely focused on you and helping you with your answer. If he says no, a quick follow up question can be “Ok great! What is a better time for me to interrupt you?” When he gives you a time and you follow-up he will provide you with his attention then because he gave his word.
6. Stop taking everything personal!
Women are emotional creatures and we have the natural tendency to take things personal. Remember that men are hunters and providers and single focused. So do not take their single focused nature around you personal. They can only focus on one thing at time. So in essence, your boss is not ignoring your call or your text or you standing in the doorway of his office, he is focused on what he is reading on his computer. So gently getting good at asking to interrupt and not taking things personal will be very good for your heart.
7. Ask for a meeting while sharing no one is in trouble
There will come a time when you will need clarity around a topic and you may even be frustrated or angry. Most times these scenarios are created from miscommunication or not understanding the others view completely. So when it’s really important, ask the man in the situation if you can schedule a time to connect and it’s always nice to pre-frame the meeting with “I need clarity around (subject) and I may need to communicate a need to you I haven’t expressed before so I can keep moving forward on this project.” When you take this approach and take responsibility that you have a need you want to get across it will go a very long way in the trust building between you and your power partner.
8. Superhero Language
There is an unspoken language of 5 beautiful words when any man hears you speak they perk up to support you because you have given them keys to know exactly how to help you. I learned this tip from an Allison Armstrong workshop I attended several years ago. When you use the words HELP, SAVE, LOVE, HAPPY or HERO in a sentence with a man he immediately knows how to provide a result that will support you. For example, “It would make me happy if we schedule the Investor meeting to Wednesday at noon so I can make my alumni meeting in the morning beforehand to pitch our new mobile product.” Or how about…”Can you carry that box up to my office for me it will save me 5 mins so I can make my conference call on time?” Or “When you recognized me for my part in the project in front of the entire team, you were my HERO today. I didn’t realize how important your accolades would mean to me. Thank you so much.”
9. Relationship vs. Partnership
Talk to the men in your life and be open about your desire to have a power partnership. Paint the vision of the future you would like to create for the long-term and how you see both of you leveraging one another’s skill sets, talents and resources to support one another. Talk about the values you both align by and create meaningful outcomes you hope to accomplish together. Share that you are a woman who accepts support and also a woman who can stand alongside a powerful man to get a job done.
10. Rampage of Appreciation
Make a choice to appreciate your power partner no matter what. Men and women will always have differences in communication but when you can understand how to communicate around those differences and leverage the strengths in those differences bigger opportunities open up for the both of you. And when you can be in any moment and notice what to appreciate in one another you will see how more fluid each moment truly becomes. You can get to a place in your power partnership where there is no judgment, just more and more love and appreciation.
Communication is ginormous when creating the foundation of your power partnership once you recognize the potential for it with each man in your life. The 10 steps above are a start to begin that communication. You will find once you learn how to tailor the art of your communication muscles in a way a man can actually hear you but even better feel respected and honored by you, you have tapped into a world of resources and opportunities you may have not even realized was possible.
If you resonate with the mindful relationship tips in this article, we encourage you to purchase your own copy of The Total Female Package to support your daily doses of self-love and continue to manifest in your experience exactly what you desire.
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